Her Answers
by Youkomon
Summary: In the midst of her identity crises, Jinmay has all the time in the world, up in the coldness of space to reflect on...things...Chiro x Jinmay. Fairly dark. One shot.


Doh...I don't know if I should continue Insomnia or post up the little one-shot sequel I wrote for it weeks ago...arrgh, decisions, decisions...

Out in the cold vacuum of space Jinmay has all the time in the world (or out of it as the case may be!) to reflect on…things…fairly angsty and a little dark asI always believed Jin-may was never fully overjoyed to discover that she wasn't human. Or at least the expression on her face when the creepy monkey in the green skirt opened up her chest panel led me to believe this…although I always wondered how she failed to notice all her memories were missing if Skeleton King really did 'cleanse' them. Hmm…anyway, feel free to read and bonus points to anyone who correctly identifies the clichés.

* * *

_The more I wish for your happiness, the more selfish I become _

But you never hold me back, you never did

When someone's wish comes true, she'll be crying

Everyone's wishes can't be granted at once - Hikaru Utada (translated from Dareka no negai ga kanau koro)

* * *

Out here there are answers. So many, twinkling like the jets of starlight dancing in the distantance. Sometimes I pretend they are eyes, watching me, evaluating my progress, just so I can drive away the loneliness.

**_I don't miss him._**

The coolness of space touches my cheek and the universe stretches out, taunting me with it's vastness. Somewhere among those billions of answers, they will be one just for me. Just a single stream of words that will make sense of all the circuitry in my head. Something I can really call my own. Something personal. Something that can't be wiped away or erased like a memory.

**_They say in space no one can hear you scream._**

I'm not worried. I don't need him to come running to my rescue each time, however nice it feels. He is the only human who would do it. But even his love is not enough to keep me dwelling in a city that does not contain my answer. It could be over here or over there. Anywhere. But I will find it.

"_That's two you owe me."_

My clean memory is forever comparing his cocky grin to the gentle smile he is capable of wearing in times of peace. The memories untouched by the skeleton king. Another way to beat back loneliness, just by tracing his individual facial expressions throughout my…mind? Brain? Computer chip? What do you call the soul contained within a metal vessel?

"What's that sound?"

A question. Uttered by those very same lips he longed to press against mine…only he would never do so because, well, he's a hero and he thinks of himself as…macho or something of the sort. Besides metal and flesh were never meant to mingle in such acts of passion…would he be repulsed by my coppery taste?

"It's…it's coming from your chest, Jinmay…"

I still remember the way the gold from the sunset became flecked onto the orange of his scarf and how the wind caught his strands of messy hair, pulling them, moulding them into something wild and untameable, like the power primate coiled within him. But what really enraptured me was the concern in his eyes. And the overwhelming curiosity bubbling within them that never failed to make me giggle. Only this time I didn't. His expression, caught by the picturesque environment surrounding us, stopped me. It was one of detailed seriousness.

**Clank, clank.**

Closer he came. And with him came the realisation that I could feel a pounding within my chest. A great groaning and clanking of metal meeting metal that would have revolted anyone one but him. He was more than human. But then again so was I.

"_It's your heart isn't it?"_

His voice shocked me almost as much as what he said. So soft…almost as if he wondered whoever I was going to break under his words. But he was right. I could feel it, my metallic heart crashing away within me, speeding up as he came ever nearer. I hated the sound.

"_Can I feel it?"_

Typical. He of course didn't care. Then he pushed his slicked palm against my chest and closed his eyes in concentration. I could feel the artificial drumbeat vibrating through his boyish form, shaking his frame of flesh and blood relentlessly, almost violently. He never flinched.

"_It reminds me of home."_

His home. Not mine. Shuggazoom city, an artificial place filled with artificial structures. Just like my body. He looked at me then, a silent question in his eyes as he removed his hand. And I gave him part of my answer.

_"Shuggazoom city isn't my home Chiro…not yet…"_

He understood, just as I knew he would. And so I departed to the skies once more, seeking out the rest of my answer. What is it? The fragments of my stolen memories? I don't know…not yet…but I will…and you dare to question my certainty?

**_Well, here's my answer to you._**

He believes in me. That glint of faith I caught in his eye before I took off is what keeps me going. For if Chiro, the chosen one, can do the impossible then maybe an emetic robot can too. For he is still seeking his answer too and I know that he will never give up until he finds it. And when both of our answers are found I'll finally go home. For only when I am complete will I go back to the boy who believes in me.

**_They also say that home is where the heart is._**

That day he found my heart and welcomed it. Exploring is all very well but a traveller will never come home to an empty building. Home for a wanderer is only where there is someone to return too. Especially someone who has seen their heart. And my someone has viewed in in the most literal sense of all. In a way he is my heart.

**_I don't miss him._**

How can miss my own heart when it's beating inside of me?

**_…So then why does it hurt?_**


End file.
